Wednesday 31 October 2012

Another Halloween...another flu bug.  Oh yes, three sick girls...a cold wet day...yuck!!

It reminds me of two years ago.  Evie was 4 years old and really it was going to be her first year of proper trick or treating.  We were in London, Ontario living in a townhouse complex brimming with young families and student-types - the kind of people that really get into the whole trick or treating thing.  It was to be a banner year for acquiring candy - I was excited!  My nephews and niece came with my sisters and my parents.  It was truly a festive time.

After some pizza and games we head out to collect our bounty.  We got maybe five houses down the row of houses when Evie stopped and said that she had enough.  I was shocked.  Had enough candy?  I questioned if she was my child.  I tried persuading her to continue - but she would have none of it.
So we went home.

Shortly thereafter she came down with the worst flu that she has ever had and the next day Noli got a touch of it too.  I believe it was the dreaded H1N1.  We survived but not without the memories.

Now another Halloween is upon us and another form of the flu.  Fantastic.

These festive days...there's always so much build up and pressure to make them memorable and to have fun...when things don't turn out just right we have a choice.  We can let it spoil our day...or we can roll with the punches and make the best of it.  Remember we can't always control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond.

As we move from festivity to festivity - don't forget to take joy in the ordinary days too.  There are far more of those types of days that are just as useful for creating memories as the "special" days.

Happy Halloween Everyone!!





Tuesday 30 October 2012

Where the World's Children Sleep

Where Children Sleep

Here's another link for you to check out - however the link brings you to a site about a book.  I came across the book, Where Children Sleep at my sister-in-law's house and was rather moved by it.

It's really a photo essay of sorts that reveals the disparity of living conditions throughout the world.  It's a a large, hard covered book that randomly shows photos of children's bedrooms around the world.  On the page opposite the photos of the bedrooms are portraits of the child who sleeps in that bedroom plus a short blurb about the child's life.

The photos are presented randomly with seemingly little intentional juxtaposition of slums and high style living.  The effect is the opposite of emotional manipulation - rather the author seems to allow you to be drawn to the images that you are inclined to linger on without forcing his message on you.

The impact it had on me was significant - it is utterly heartbreaking when you see the conditions that some children have to live in.  I'm left wondering, isn't there more that I can do...isn't there something to be done that could make a difference?  I have to admit I find it overwhelming and don't know how to action the anguish that I feel when I dwell on the seeming unfairness of it all.  To be sure, we try to do our part to help those who need it but sometimes I wonder if I'm doing enough.

We are so blessed - even those who can afford to rent the smallest of places here in Canada.  If you have a clean, warm and secure place to lay your head at the end of the day, consider yourself rich.  I consider being good stewards of the things that I have so that I may be able to give to others a start.  If we have been given or have gained some level of material success, then we have the responsibility to help others.  It is a privilege to live in the great country of Canada, and of course with privilege comes responsibility.

I also try hard to remind myself constantly to be grateful for the things I have and not complain about the things I don't have.  I literally have everything I need and so many of the things I want.  When I want to eat, it's not a matter of going to see if there's anything to eat, rather it's a matter of deciding what I want to eat from the plethora of delicious foods that I have.  That's a luxury that should not be taken for granted.

Take a look at the website or check the book out from your local library branch.   The next time you tuck your children in or you bundle up in your nice warm, soft bed, remember you are a lucky one.  Be grateful and maybe even offer up a little, "Thank you."  Then consider a way that you can make a difference in someone's life...and do it.



Monday 29 October 2012

Living the Dream

Happy Monday!

I came across a really great website last week - check it out:

Better Life Index

It's a site put out by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) that
compares a number of different facets such as education, health, and housing among others, across nations.  These facets are used as an indication of well-being in those countries (or in some cases lack of wellness).  It's a very interesting site that you could easily whittle away large chunks of time on.

I'm not one to recommend many websites or whittling away time.  However this site is worth a perusal especially because it caused me to start to consider on the facets as they relate to my life.  It really gave me pause to think on my values and the things that I hold up in my life as indicators that I am "living the life."  And by "living the life" I mean living a particular lifestyle that reflects that which I consider to be important.  In doing so it makes you evaluate and reaffirm those things that are important to you.

For me, one of the most significant personal indicators of better living is a healthy work-life balance with a heavy emphasis on the life part (as if work isn't a part of life).   Work-life balance is the catch phrase that gets thrown out there to justify not working crazy long hours and for spending more time with the family rather than in the office.  I can do with less if it means I get more of what I want and what my family wants - which is time together. For me that is what makes life enjoyable.

I think the time we have together is short - by the time we know it our kids are old enough to  be doing their own thing and we old fogies get relegated to taxi service.  I suppose it's the natural order of things.  I plan to enjoy this time with them now.  The thing is, even when they are all grown, I'm still going to covet my family time as it means that me and my little woman will get to spend more time together doing the things we like doing like popping in on our children and hanging with our grand-kiddies.

What are your indicators of the better life?  What things do you value and strive for in your life?  I'm not asking rhetorically, I'd really like to know.  Leave a comment to share.

Hey, one last thought, as this Frankenstorm threatens to redefine the Eastern seaboard, stay safe and don't forget to count your blessings, even in the midst of the storm.  This too will pass.



Friday 26 October 2012

Sitting Here On the Couch

As I sit here, look around me and think of all the stuff I need to do before bed, I realize that maybe I don't have time to be writing tonight.  There are the toys to pick-up, dishes to put away, lunches to make, sheet to bring in from outside, and garbage to take out plus a sick kid in bed that I'm hoping gets a good night's sleep.  And my wife had a long day today.

Sometimes you just have to turn off all the distractions, buy into a little delayed gratification, buckle down and take care of business.  Wants often come into conflict with needs - such as all I really want to do tonight is sit on my butt, do some reading and writing and maybe eat a Jos Louis.  At those times you gotta ask yourself, whatcha gonna do?  I guess I'll do what I ought to do and get to work...right now.  Hey look at that, I still got to some writing.

Wednesday 24 October 2012

Daddy Hall of Fame part 2




Marlin from Finding Nemo is my second entry into the Daddy Hall of Fame for demonstrating strength and courage in the face of perhaps a parent's worst nightmare - a lost child.

Having temporarily lost a kid from time to time, I have been briefly aquainted with the sheer panic that some parents have to deal with on a much larger and longer scale. Most recently I was at the public swimming pool with my girls and my wife when we lost our precious Noli. I had thought she had left the change-room with my wife and my wife thought she left the room with me. As it turns out she left on her own and then waited outside the swimming pool on a very busy street. I can only assume that she thought someone would be picking her up eventually or that she went outside to hail a taxi. Either way she scared the bejesus out of our whole family. Luckily we all ended up together and now it's just another funny story about how one kid's adventure made her parents go temporarily insane.

I like Nemo because it is a good lesson in bravery.  I like to tell my girls that being brave does not mean that you are never afraid - rather it means that regardless of the fear you feel, you still do that which you know you should.  You take care of business though you be quakin' in your boots.  Marlin does just that.  He moves out of his comfort zone and though is illusion of control over his domain is shattered, he takes a breath, lets go of all his inhibitions and discovers that he and his son are capable of much more than he could imagine. 


We could all use a little bit of that courage every now and then - the kind that enables us and our kids to push past our self-imposed limitations.  The kind that draws a family closer together even in the midst of the toughest trials and tribulations. 


Tuesday 23 October 2012

The 39 Steps

This past weekend marked an exciting milestone in the life of our youngest daughter.  She turned 9 months old...and more importantly discovered that she can climb stairs.  Yes indeed, she can climb from the bottom right to the very top (of course I was there spotting her).  Exciting and terrifying...now there's no rest for poor ol' ma and pop.  Well, actually it just means we have to deal with the nuisance of a baby gate - but the peace of mind it brings is worth it.

You should have seen her face the first time she got to the top - pure delight.  But as she performed her new skill again and again (it seems to be her new favorite thing), I observed something interesting.  The more comfortable she got climbing the stairs, the more easily distracted she became.  The first time she was intent on each step, her focus rarely moving from the top stair.  By the fifth time however, every little dust bunny (nothing like a baby to point out all the spots you've missed in your cleaning) or tiny shiny sparkle that fell off one of the girls' dresses was reason enough to pause and explore.  She even took time to try to eat one of the stairs.

It kind of reminded me of me I guess...and a lot of other grown up types I know.  How often do we start a new initiative all gun-ho ready to go only to be distracted and pulled off-course by some meaningless diversion?  Of course there are times when things arise that are deserving of further attention.  I guess the trick is to discern which diversions could yield something special (like a sparkle from a dress) and which are merely dust-bunnies.


Monday 22 October 2012

Star Trek

I have recently rediscovered Star Trek: the Next Generation. I know, how could I have forgotten how wonderful it was? I really do think it's wonderful. The episodes always have a problem that is hard to understand at first and then in the last ten minutes or so, starship Enterprise finds a way to fix it by working together and using their heads. Captain commands his crew in a wise and fatherly nature, with inexhaustible resources of patients despite the Romulan ship that is about to blow them to, as Jordi would say, "to kingdom come!"
The one aspect that annoys me about Star Trek is the fact that faith in the supernatural is viewed by Captain Picard as a prehistoric and backward superstition. It would seem that humans in the future rely more and more on technology and less on God. This may in fact be an extremely accurate representation of humanity, but in my opinion it deviates from the shows inherent positivity.

Of course this does not bother me enough to stop watching the show. But I will hope with each passing episode that the crew can find some sort of joy and value in things that cannot be explained. Maybe I'm investing too much in the fictional characters, but what can I say, I care about their fictitious souls!





Friday 19 October 2012

Sleeping Like a Baby

Yay it's Friday!!

I often wonder about that term...sleeping like a baby.  Who came up with that saying?  Was it spoken in jest the first time?

I suppose it's not too hard to imagine.  Babies have a knack for sleeping through just about anything, when they want to.  We could be in a crowded room, a bunch of kids screaming and Miriam is completely out of it.  That must be what it refers to, the ability to sleep through anything.

It certainly doesn't refer to their ability to sleep through the night - at least not judging by my children.  I've heard of other babies sleeping through the night, but really I chalk that up as simply urban legend.  I remember when Noli was about a year old telling a friend that it had probably been a year since I last slept through the night...and I don't even have to nurse the baby, my poor wife.

Did you know that sleep deprivation is in fact a type of torture.  Anyway, here's to the elusive solid night's sleep...and a weekend of rest and fun to recharge our weary selves.


Thursday 18 October 2012

Daddy Instinct

I slipped and fell down a few stairs today, while holding Miriam, my nine month old.  We're all okay thank goodness.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to be pretty sore in the morning but Miriam didn't get anything worse than a little fright.  Upon beginning my descent my free arm, rather than going to the ground to catch myself, instinctively went around Miriam to ensure she didn't get bumped.  Of course that meant that my elbow, shoulder and butt took the brunt of the fall...thankfully I've got a little padding on the behind.

It amazes me how instinctive our protective nature is for our children.  This is of course just a small example as neither of us were in any serious danger.  But even the smallest threat to a child can elicit a rather primal instinct that very few dare stand against.   There's something fearsomely beautiful about it all.  In the spirit of that sentiment, enjoy the following video. 


Wednesday 17 October 2012

Felix Baumgartner...wow!!  I salute you sir.  In case you missed it, Fearless Felix leaped from the edge of space to complete the most extreme skydive ever setting three records along the way - highest manned balloon flight, highest skydive and the first person to break the sound barrier without a vehicle.  I guess that makes him the fastest man on the planet today.

Besides its sheer awesomeness - there are apparently practical scientific reasons why this jump is significant.  But I want to focus on its awesomeness.  In a world where it easy to feel complacent and where sometimes it feels as though there is nothing new under the sun...we humans have done it all...it's exciting to think that there are some still pushing the boundaries.  Those who dream a little bigger, look a little higher and say, "yeah, that's possible...let's give it a go."

Jumping off of things is not for me.  In fact the past few years I've claimed base jumping as my biggest fear (base jumping and wild cats).  Just the thought of it turns my stomach - just too many things that could go wrong.  Maybe I'd slip right before I was to jump...or trip...a slight stumble and I wouldn't jump far enough from the ledge and WHAM!!  I end up bouncing off the face of the base.  Yeah.  Jumping is not for me.

It's easy and understandable to become so focused on the things that could go wrong that you never leave the comfort of the base.  But if we all did that, there'd be no Fearless Felix...no risk, no gain.

Surely I have my own metaphorical base that I am to leap from. A lesson from Felix for me is to assess and mitigate the risks...but don't let them stop me from taking the leap!


Tuesday 16 October 2012

It's Not That Complicated



I just read another article about how Canadian household debt has hit a record high. Now, I am by no means a financial expert, but am in fairly good shape financially despite having four dependents and being a single income home. We don't have any credit card debt, school debt or weird payday loan type debt (those places give me the willies) and we are about six years away from paying off our mortgage. Financial success seems to be fairly straightforward to me, and includes very few rules to follow. Here are some of my idiot proof rules.

Rule #1 Don't buy crap.

Has that set in yet? Wait for it to sink in deep. Most things people buy other than food are just crap (with very few exceptions). You don't need a new flat screen, a cell phone, a newer car, a boat, a bigger house, or any other do-dad to be happy and fulfilled. We try to keep our needs and wants distinctive and in perspective.  It is probably sacrilegious to say in this day and age, but you really don't need a cell phone to survive. Trust me you wont die without an ipad, or  iphone.  Somehow, my family magically seems to survive with out these things quite happily. Yes we sometimes think about buying shiny new things that will momentarily bring us joy, but then we think about how much better being completely debt free will feel and walk on by the shiny new car.

Rule #2 Work Hard at Anything you Can - Then Live Within Your Means

 I didn't always have a job that paid well.  During my student days and early years of marriage I often worked double shifts between two jobs and did extra work at night cataloging information for random companies (the most mind-numbing thing on Earth to do for money). We learned to tailor our life in order to meet the salary we have, weather it's big or small.  Living frugally has now become a lifestyle and we never go without our needs being met and many of our wants too - albeit our wants are usually pretty simple.  Luckily I now have a job that does meet all of our needs and doesn't make me want to go crazy by doing hours and hours of night time cataloging.

Rule #3 Pay Off More Than you Need To Now

This just means pay more of your debt down, be it mortgage, school loans, plastic surgery, or whatever, than the minimum monthly requirement. Bank staffers usually discourage this because thats how they make their money,,or rather your money.

Rule #4 Give to God

If your not spiritual at all or maybe even if you are this rule will seem strange but I believe it helps us more than it is a sacrifice. We are amazingly blessed by God and I hope our small contributions will bless others in turn.

And thats it. That is my family's playbook on money. The first and fourth rules are the most important ones I think. Obviously these have not been invented by me. Lots of people, smarter and wiser than me write books about this sort of stuff and follow these rule better than us. But as my wife's Grandmother used to say, "what's true once can be said again and again."






Monday 15 October 2012

Pop Culture Fathers' Hall of Fame (Shame)

The progression (or maybe that's regression) of a father's role in pop-culture is fun to look at.  So that's what I'm going to do.  From time to time I'll post a father character from pop culture fame and highlight some of his characteristics and what made him so memorable.  It's interesting because I think you can tell a lot about how fathers were viewed in society at different times from their depiction in media.  From Mr. Cleaver to Homer Simpson fathers have come a long way.

Let's get started with one of my favorite fathers from television.

Charles Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie



He gets double the points for being based on a real guy (see a photo of the real Charles below).

I always liked Charles for his ability to gauge what was needed from him in any given scenario and get the job done.  And when the job was done he'd always have a heartfelt smile awaiting.  Need to rough up some outlaws - no problem.  Harvest needs finishing up...broken ribs?  Not a problem.  Heck he could build a cottage, catch some fish, find his children in a blizzard, and save Walnut Grove from some calamity all before dinner and still have some energy left over to break out the fiddle.

He was John Wayne meets James Dean - a man not afraid to show his vulnerability but whose vulnerability never hindered him from overcoming any obstacle be it nature, man or himself.   He was the epitome of the tough guy father who was still always emotionally available to his family - not to mention always there when the needed him.  How many times did we see him cry for or about his family?  I lost count but you still never doubted that he was the man.  When he needed to, he'd wipe those tears away, pick himself up and by George get the task done.

Yes, in my opinion, pop culture and our world could use more fathers like Charles Ingalls.


Friday 12 October 2012

Men of Faith

Two passages from the Good Book have always given me cause to pause - interesting that they both pertain to family.

The first is Genesis 22 when Abraham is told to sacrifice Isaac his son.  Abraham sets out to obey proving that he would not even with-hold his only son from God.  Isaac is of course spared.  It is nevertheless hard to fathom a father willing to follow through.

The second is from Matthew 10 particularly the following:
37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."

These verses become even more difficult after becoming an husband and father.  I would jump on a bees nest to keep my girls safe.  I have to remind myself that my faith is in a God that not only loves me but loves each of my girls more completely than I ever could.  My belief that He has a plan and purpose for their life, independent of me, makes the above passages more palatable.  I rest assured in that faith.





Thursday 11 October 2012

Dick Proenneke - The Man!!


Here's another gem from good ol' Youtube. I actually saw this video in University but just rediscovered it again this week. Its about a man named Dick Proenneke who goes up to Alaska and lives alone by his own means. Normally stories that start that way end up with said person ending up frozen to death and or getting half eaten by coyotes. This story however is much happier. Dick kicks butt at pretty much every part of wilderness life and ended up staying in Alaska until the age of 85.

This guy is so inspiring to me, in a lot of unsuspecting ways. I am mostly in awe of his easy use of tools and amazing carpentry skills. He makes his own tools, house, fireplace, root cellar, snowshoes, spoons, yes even spoons!

These days its seems socially acceptable to bash Men, and almost anti PC not to. Maybe we have earned a little bashing from thousands of years of patriarchical oppression, but whenever it gets me down I remember that Men like this are examples of what we guys can do. Even if it makes no sense.
Enjoy!

Wednesday 10 October 2012

Tick Tock...

The best part of going to work each day, are the hugs at the end of the day when I get home.  Evie and Noli ran outside and into my arms the moment they saw the car in the driveway.  I barely had time to get out of the car.  Even Mimi had an especially big smile on her face when she saw me.

Time with the girls is at a premium now that I'm back at work.  The focus has shifted from quantity time to quality time.  The ideal is quality time in vast quantities but that's not always feasible.  Moreover when you have oodles of time at home, taking half an hour away from the girls isn't such a big deal.

Now however I am conscious how valuable each moment can be if I choose it to be.  I'm going to try to be more deliberate with the moments I can steal away with my girls, to make them count.  For example, Evie and I will regularly have 10-15 minutes together each morning waiting for the bus.  While it would be easy to let that time slip away in silence because I'm tired or am thinking about my coming day at work, I'm going to take the time to pause and give Evie my focused attention.  I'm going to be intentional in starting conversations with her so that those few minutes each morning become something more than time we spent simply waiting for the bus.  My hope is that it becomes a time that we both remember as being special.


Tuesday 9 October 2012

Time Traveling Daddy

Well, this is it.  The end of another chapter in my life.  Yesterday was my last day of parental leave and now I am off to work again.

I can't emphasize enough just how ideal and perfect my time off has been.  I have an awesome job and work with some seriously cool people - some of the best at what they do.  But if I had a DeLorean I'd seriously consider jumpin' in and gunnin' it to 88mph to do it all again.  Hanging out with my family, recalibrating our family after our latest addition, watching said addition grow and develop, strengthening my relationship with my ladies...invaluable and totally enjoyable.

The theory of time travel intrigues me.  I have to admit I've probably given more thought and reading into time travel than the average dude.  As fun as it would be to relive events from my life again and again or experience a completely different time, I have to admit I wouldn't do it. The reason is I'd be shortchanging my own storyline which is now hopelessly and happily entwined with my wife and my girls' story.  To quote Aerosmith, "I don't wanna miss a thing."

You see there are so many diversions available to us without time travel.  However I think time travel would be the ultimate experience in escapism.  But while you hide from the worries and struggles of life you run the risk of missing some of life's greatest, spontaneous joys.  The inexplicable moments that come out of nowhere and just overwhelm you.

I had one today when hearing my daughter reply to me asking if she wanted her jacket (we were going outside).  She nodded her head and with a nonchalance and coolness beyond her mere three years of age replied, "Sure."  There was something about her tone...something that gave me a glimpse of the future.  Maybe it was a hint of the her emerging personality shining through that I projected to give me an image of the type of woman she will become.  Whatever it was, I was filled with joy and hope for her future.  I couldn't help but beam and think about how exciting it will be to watch my girls grow.  What will they do?  What will they become?  Will they still like making picks together (we sit down each week, go through the NFL football schedule and pick who we think will win each game)?  I don't know, but I'll be there each step of the way.

On second thought I would definitely be a chrononaut...if I could bring my wife and daughters with me.  There's nowhere in space-time I'd rather be than with them.






Monday 8 October 2012

On this Thanksgiving day I can't help but be thankful for my wonderful wife - today is our 7th Anniversary!!  My wife is a tower of strength who continues to amaze me.  I am more in love with her now than ever.

As it is my last day of parental leave (back to the office tomorrow), I cannot help but reflect on and be grateful for our family.  What an absolute blessing they are and I cannot tell you how thankful I am for every moment I have to spend with them.  The greatest joy in my life is to be with them.  To think...it all started with a look and a "hello" near the bar of the Capital 7 movie theatre in Kingston.  I'm not sure I could have comprehended how much that "hello" was to change my life.  But am I ever glad she did.  Happy Anniversary My Love!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!  Remember to spend time (and cherish it) with the ones you love today!!


Friday 5 October 2012

Ode To My Father

Today is my Dad's birthday and so I think it only appropriate to pay tribute to the man who taught me about being a father and a man.  He is a great example and growing-up I often thought that if I turned out to be like my Dad, I'd have done well for myself.

Growing up he was kind, patient, supportive and encouraging.  I never doubted his love for us, never feared that he wouldn't be around or have time to talk.  He led by example, was slow to anger (at least he was slow to show any anger) and always ready for a laugh.  We kids had tremendous freedom to become our own people and regardless of our choices I knew he'd have our collective back.  He's one of the friendliest people I know and I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone who didn't think so - everyone likes him.  And now, as he has aged, he's even more so.

I always knew he was a good man but I don't know if I truly appreciated everything he did for us until I became a father myself.  I remember often talking about my Mom as one of my heroes for the gumption she showed in returning to school with three kids to fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse.  She worked hard to finish school and maintain the home life we had grown accustomed to.   She succeeded - definitely hero material.

I realized a few years ago that without the support from my Dad, and his willingness to stick to a job that I know wasn't his favorite thing to do in the world, it would have been a lot harder for my Mom to achieve her dream.  In fact the more I reflect about my family's story the clearer it becomes that one of the reasons the rest of us have been able to talk boldly of our dreams, take chances and pursue them is because Dad was a rock providing stability and security.   If one of us showed an interest in something, he'd get behind it and cheer us on.  He'd do what he could to enable us to pursue our interest to the extent that we desired regardless of the sacrifices he had to make...and he's still doing it.  That's not just a great Dad...that's a great man.

Like the bass player in a band (Dads plays a mean bass) who holds down the bottom end of things so the guitarist can go on wild adventures and get the glory, he is the unsung hero - until now.

Here's to you Dad!!  Happy Birthday - I love you!!


Thursday 4 October 2012

Ready Or Not

Something a little different happened yesterday when I dropped my daughter off at school.  For the first couple of weeks of the school year I waited with her until the bell rang and her class was headed inside before leaving.  Despite my reassurances that I wouldn't leave until she had gone in and unmoved by my encouragement to go play with her friends, she opted to wait by my side until the bell rang.  This went on for days, each day I urged her to go and play, and each day she decided to stay with me.  I asked her if everything was alright on the playground, concerned that something might have happened to make her not want to be there.  She said no, she just liked being with me.  How sweet!  Eventually she started taking the bus and so it ceased to be an issue.

We had a late night on Tuesday and so we let her sleep in a little bit yesterday at the price of missing the bus.  Therefore it was off to school I went.  So we arrive at the school and before we get out of the car she says to me, "Daddy...I don't want you to stay today."

"You mean you just want me to walk you to the playground, give you a kiss and leave?"  I wanted to clarify what she wanted.  "Yes," she replied.  I said, "okay" and asked if she still wanted me to give her a kiss before I left, to which she responded favorably.  Whew!!

It's not the first time one of our children have exercised their independence, but it never fails to create a strange concoction of emotions.  A swell of pride mixed with a healthy dose of a crumbling heart.  Time marches forward, ready or not.

Wednesday 3 October 2012

Love Is A Verb

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
- Rev. Theodore Hesburgh


It's easy to get caught up in the business of living and forget to take time to appreciate your wife, with all that she does for you and the family, and love her properly.  Now I know most of us would say that of course we love and appreciate our wives...but I'm talking about being demonstrative love.  As dc Talk once sang (rapped), love is a verb.

Being deliberate in loving your wife may not sound very spontaneous or romantic, but I believe it goes a long way in keeping the relationship strong and healthy.  It's easy to take the relationship for granted or neglect it, especially when you are completely wiped out on a regular basis from the daily grind of life...especially life with children.  They have a way of seeing how close they can push you to the brink of exhaustion before they give you the briefest of respites before doing it all again.  But  being intentional in doing the right things to strengthen the marriage will benefit not just the two love birds but their whole nest as well.

The marriage will have a better shot at surviving the bumps and transport tires that inevitably turn up on the road of life - which I tend to believe is beneficial to the fam jam.  

Also, by loving your wife outwardly  - respecting her, treating her well, speaking highly of her - clear messages are sent to the children.  They will likely follow your lead in regards to the way they should treat their mother.  Moreover they are learning how to be men and what to expect as women from the example you set.  I want my girls to expect to be treated with the utmost respect - I don't want them settling for less.  I want your sons to know how to treat a woman like a lady because my daughters are going to have to share a world with them.

So take time today to love your wife.  Try to do something everyday that shows that you are thinking about her, appreciate her and still love her dearly.  In the early days it may have been bringing flowers home (flowers still work, at least in my house)...but now it might also include making sure the flour container in the kitchen is filled and the compost is taken out regularly (which I almost always do...right sweetie?).  

I need to be reminded of this often myself...I'm betting we all do.  No?

Live well and love well today.


Tuesday 2 October 2012

Vintage Homesteading Video

I found this video yesterday while wasting time on Youtube. Its about a family who starts a homestead way out on the Prairies. The acting is very typical of a 1940's public service announcement,,,bad. But I still enjoy watching stuff like this from time to time.

I started wondering about how many families might have picked up and moved because of propaganda videos like this. Were they annoyed when the discovered the reality of moving to such a harsh environment? Obviously some families did very well as there decendants still inhabit the now successful farms today. 

Do you have a crazy choice awaiting you? Are you pining for a new beginning.  Odds are its probably going to be easier than what these guys had to go through so take heart and go for it. 


Monday 1 October 2012

Being a Daddy is in the Details

Ahh...the weekend.  Time to take a breather, relax,,, and drive around like a mad man looking for one of the two hockey sticks that our family left here, there and everywhere except where they're supposed to be because my Evie has hockey in a couple of hours.

Oh yes, talk about the ideal Saturday morning.  I was gathering Evie's hockey equipment when I realized we were stickless.  The extra hockey stick that I just picked up the week before because I thought it might be a good idea to have an extra one kicking around?  I forgot it at church after some Sunday night ball hockey.  Evie's regular stick?  Well, who knows where that is.  My guess was last week's arena, so I drove out there to check the lost and found.  Nope.  Well, now I was only a few blocks from our church, so I went there. Nope, no stick.  So I boot it to Canadian Tire, buy two new sticks, get home, measure the stick against Evie, cut it, tape it and then rush off to hockey.  Whew!!  Made it.

To say the least, I was a little annoyed.  It's easy to feel fatherly when doing fatherly things like teaching your kid how to swim or ride a bike or even standing in the arena proudly watching her race across the ice while sipping on a nice hot coffee (that'd be me sipping the coffee, not her).  That's fatherhood, right?  What about the time fixing that blasted tire on her bike or getting all the swim gear ready every week?  Or getting them in and out of their swimsuits and in and out of the car again and again?

These are essential to being a Daddy...doing what needs to be done, when it needs doing whether it be the key milestone moments in a Daddy-Child relationship or the most mundane and routine activities (like searching for a hockey stick).  All the behind the scenes work, running around, preparation and grunt work are as important as the main events;  they lay the foundation for whatever will be.  It's my job to do what needs to be done to ensure that my girls have a shot to do and achieve their goals.  Today it might simply be getting to hockey practice with all the right gear...tomorrow, who knows?

Moreover, the routine things in life add up...how you approach the daily tasks (the teeth brushing, nose wiping, pony tailing) can go a long way in shaping your relationship with your children.  It's easy to be annoyed and grumpy.  But if you're always annoyed and grumpy when going through the daily grind of parenthood, what message are the kids picking up?  I don't want to indulge or spoil my girls (some may say, "too late!") but neither do I want them feeling like they're a constant nuisance.  

Embrace all the moments you have to be a Daddy...do what you need to do and do it well.   Good luck out there today!!